Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
