i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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