spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
All the doctor said was why
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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