u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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