Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
