I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
