"it" just moved
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
