good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Randomize
