You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
