On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
My vagina just recognized that song.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
how does that bad decision feel?
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