bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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