my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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