Where did you get a picture of my penis
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Randomize
