I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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