I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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