His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
