White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
