so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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