soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Houston, we have a squirter
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
