My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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