i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
