I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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