Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
