Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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