just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
