Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
