My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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