a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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