R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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