Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
