I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
