were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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