yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Randomize
