I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
