Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
