when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Edward fifth and chaser hands
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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