It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
