My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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