I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
