after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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