Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
