i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
