Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
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