If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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