instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
