Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
