If i come over, it means nothing
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
