they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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