ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
