When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
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