garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
